Happy birthday to my beautiful granny, Almedia Buffin, born in 1922.
I need to go see her. I do. It’s been so long since I visited her. I need to go see her… but I’m selfish. I can’t bring myself to go for fear she won’t know me or, like last time, will beg me to take her home.
I need to go see her. This beautiful woman who helped raise me and was my very best friend my entire life. But, I can’t go.
I can’t go celebrate her 94th birthday with her.
My grandmother, who always loved me. Who took me to the park and out for ice cream. Who would drive all the way across town or even to another county just to pick me up for sleepovers at her house. Who ate lunch with me at school and let my friends call her “granny”. Who sang to me when I was in labor with my first child, because it calmed me. Who hates having her picture taken but we always snapped them anyway. Who loves fishing and is an amazing guitar player. My grandmother who is being ravaged by Alzheimer’s. Who has lost herself inside this disgusting disease and who no longer knows me.
I pray my granny has a happy birthday. I hate this disease. This… stupid Alzheimer’s. I hate everything about it. I hate that it destroys people’s minds and makes them forget those they love, things they enjoy and even how to function.
Happy Birthday Granny Buffin. I hate Alzheimer’s Disease and that you have it.
She has ALWAYS been there when I needed her. So why can’t I make myself be there for her? I can’t go. I need to go see her… but I’m selfish.
I will go. It won’t be today but I will go see her and I pray I’m not too late to be there for her.
I need her and I need to go see her… even if she doesn’t know me.