Sometimes, even though we pray and put our faith in God, He says no.
Once again, I’ve had a pregnancy end in loss. The last was in September. Then at Christmas we found out I was expecting again. Hubby and I had decided to try just one more time. At that point, I had miscarried 5 out of those 10 pregnancies.
My kids and I were sick all throughout January and the first part of Feb. At first I thought, aside from being sick, that everything was ok. But on Feb. 16 I started spotting and cramping and my blood pressure was really high. I went to the ER, they did an ultrasound and discovered there was no fetal heartbeat. Again.
I prayed and prayed for this baby to be ok, but God said no. And although I don’t know why, He does and I have to be ok with that. That is sometimes easier said than done. My faith is still as strong as ever and I put my trust in Him but it is SO hard to not question his answer. So very hard. :0(
My sweet baby made it to around 10 weeks and then passed away, and this past Saturday, at 12 weeks, I had to have a D&C because things were not progressing naturally. That makes 6 times now. 6 times I’ve had to say goodbye to an unborn baby.
I’ve been pregnant 10 times. I never in my life imagined I’d be pregnant that many times. I certainly never planned to but life takes us in directions we don’t plan sometimes. I have 4 gorgeous children. I am truly blessed. But 6 losses is devastating.And even though the thought of never carrying another child is heartbreaking, I finally have my head and heart in the same place. I was SO sick with this last pregnancy. I haven’t been off the couch since New Year. I just can’t do it any more.
So now what? Now I focus on my health and losing weight, getting my blood pressure under control and my family. My husband and children need me and I see now that I can’t do the things I need and take care of them when I am pregnant. My body can’t handle it.
Anyway, I’m sorry for rambling on. This post probably doesn’t make a bit of sense right now. I just think I needed to write this and get it out there. This is the first step in grieving and healing.
Thank you for being here.
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I am a stay-at-home- mom, living in KY with my husband and children. I’m a travel and lifestyle blogger encouraging folks to live their life one adventure at a time while also focusing on beauty, essential oils and health. From time to time I also like to showcase my adorable pets along with my family. Along with Cinnamon Hollow I can be found at The Martin Family Adventure … read more
I’m so sorry for your loss Crystal. I won’t even pretend that I know what to say to help. I will say that I have faith in God’s word that he will give you peace that surpasses all understanding. I am praying for you and your family.
Crystal,
I am so so sorry! Our prayers are with you and your family and your dear one. keep comfort that one day you will see your ‘other’ children.
HUGS and HUGS and prayers!
I am so sorry for your loss! I had a miscarriage several yearrs back around 10 weeks as well. And it is devastating. I cannot imagine having more than one. But you are right, you have four wonderful children and a great husband that God has blessed you with. And you are on the right track by trusting in Him. I know it is hard and we will never understand but just keeping believing and having faith in Him and he will see you through. Prayers go out to you and your family.
Thank you all SO much for your comments and prayers. They mean the world to me! I am truly sorry for those who have also gone through this as well. Blessings to you all.
Crystal, if it means to be, then it means to be. I tried to ask God, I even pushed it even if the warning bells say no. I end up a failure. So now, I don’t want to push, I just wait of what to come. I feel your pain. Don’t worry, God will grant you..
Thank you Kelli, very much.
Sorry to hear about the loss and it really saddens our heart yet it’s still good not to be discouraged in times like that for we know God has a better plans for us and for whatever it is He know what’s really best for us. We just have to trust Him and keep on praying. God bless you and your family.
Estetica Df