Raising a child with development issues and learning difficulties is challenging, but when approached correctly, the challenges can become important learning experiences for both parents and the child. This piece aims to discuss how parents can turn what is outwardly seen as “problematic” behaviors into opportunities that will ultimately improve the bond between parents and children. Are you ready? Let’s learn more about ways to engage with your child to better handle their responses to overstimulating social settings before they (and you) spiral.
Labeling Behavior
One of the first and most important steps is identifying and labeling what is seen as inappropriate behavior in autistic children. It’s essential to recognize that certain actions, such as stress responses, self-soothing behaviors, or mild agitation, are not necessarily signs of misbehavior but often natural ways for autistic children to cope with sensory or emotional overload. Before labeling a behavior as inappropriate, consider whether it involves more intense actions such as meltdowns, aggression, or severe outbursts that may pose challenges to the child’s safety or those around them. Depending on how severe your child’s Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is, they may show different symptoms. Parents can work with professionals in the field to better label the different reactions, triggers, time of day they frequently occur, and the effects on siblings and parents.
Labeling can help parents and other trusted caregivers spot the causes of stress responses. Many parents sometimes feel unequipped and overwhelmed when they have to navigate their child’s severe ASD symptoms, so labeling can offer some relief. It puts more power in your hands as a parent to ensure that you’re better able to tackle severe issues when they occur. Labeling also helps ASD caregivers and physicians do their jobs with clarity and empathy towards the child.
Modeling Appropriate Coping Mechanisms
One of the best ways to motivate a behavior is through positive reinforcement. When your child can process difficult emotions, encourage and acknowledge their effort. Parents and caregivers can build systems around suitable coping mechanisms. When done right, your home can become a fortress where stressful occurrences are minimized and healthy stress responses are reinforced. One of the ways to achieve this is by changing the layout of your home, especially the living room and the child’s room, to minimize distractions and eliminate potential triggers, as overstimulating sounds, noise, or smell might result in sensory overload.
It’s always a great idea to work with a professional behavioral therapist when creating and modeling systems specific to your child, ideally a professional he or she is familiar with through previous sessions. Combining the first-hand knowledge you have about your child with the professional experience of your ABA therapist could be helpful for long-term success and improve the quality of life for the family.
Positive Reinforcements
Positive reinforcements are as relevant today as they were when B.F. Skinner introduced the concept in the 1930s, and numerous psychological studies have since confirmed its effectiveness in shaping behaviour and improving motivation. Children, for instance, quickly learn that certain actions or behaviors lead to positive outcomes, whether tangible, such as treats or toys, or intangible, like praise or approval. Alternatively, children with ASD can also identify when some of their actions not only fail to result in positive reinforcements but also receive negative feedback from parents and guardians. No two children are the same, so your approach will be specific based on things you know about them.
The form of positive reinforcements you choose to implement will depend on your kid’s needs and preferences. It also works best when it aligns with their unique interests and sensory preferences. Instead of general rewards like candy or extra screen time, consider options that are personally more meaningful. This could include sensory input, such as swinging, jumping on a trampoline, listening to calming music, or working on a puzzle. Verbal praise can also be powerful, but should be delivered in a way that your child is comfortable with. Think of a quiet “good job” or thumbs up, instead of excessive physical touch or exuberant verbal praises. Most importantly, you should learn how to strike a balance and not overwhelm your child in the process.
Child-Specific Approaches
Earlier in this article, we shared the importance of considering approaches specific to your child, their needs, and temperament. Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) care also focuses on approaches that are specific to your ward, alongside general practices. Are there things that trigger your kid? Why don’t you do your best to minimize their exposure to such triggers, or even neutralize them if possible? In situations where you cannot fully protect them from triggers (light, sound, vehicles), you can work with behavioral therapists to improve their tolerance to these triggers.
Does your child enjoy going on long walks, or going on long walks to a specific place? Do they only want to see animals or also enjoy being close to and petting them? You can use what you know they like to expose them to a variety of public and social settings and improve their coping mechanisms for when things don’t quite go as planned. Even though nobody knows your child as well as you, working with professionals to come up with strategies and approaches can help your child even more than working through this alone.
Beyond Behavior
Setting expectations is one of the most important things parents of children with ASD have to do; it makes no sense to base your expectations on what someone else was able to achieve with their children. You should always hope for the best, but be open to your timeline being longer than you envisioned.
From Negative to Positive
Managing a life with Autism Spectrum Disorder is often a learning experience for everyone involved; that’s why parents need to be kinder to themselves while being more open to learning new things, unlearning outdated knowledge, and relearning things they used to know. It’s possible to transform behaviors through positive reinforcement.
Meg is an author at Cinnamon Hollow. She writes on a variety of topics sharing tips and ideas for daily life.
